TOP 10 LIST OF THE UGLIEST & MOST BORING KENYANS ON TWITTER

I define ugliness as a result of arrogance and faulty mouth. This blog is aimed at helping the following individuals have their way to Guiness Books of Records. It is also focusing on non-exploited resources in Kenya that can help grow our Tourism Sector by 5% this year. How? If these individuals are enclosed in a zoo, UNESCO will certainly declare the habitat a world heritage! On that brief introduction, help me welcome the finalists in the TOP 10 LIST OF THE UGLIEST and most boring Kenyans on Twitter:

 

 

10. @C_Nyakundih

His TL is full of unnecessary tweefs and hatred. Friends close to him say he is a notorious air-polluter. This may be attributed to his undying thirst for 'ndisi'. However, it seems his waste not only comes out through his rectum, but his face too!

 

 

 9. @xtiandela

He is not supposed to be on this list, but his cowardice and con ideas spare him not. On his TL, it is either shoutouts or stolen tweets, but unknown to you, he is a 'Sura Mbaya' nigga! Look closely.

 

8. @RamzZy_

You may disagree on this if you have never met this guy roaming the streets of Nairobi. He might have received the wrong face, that of Satan. He cannot make any sensible thought. Dirty to say the least. He is the Kenyan casanova.
 

 

 

7. @RobertAlai

He might not be ugly on the condition that he and Eugene Wamalwa are the only human species in this world. He is the undisputed king of propaganda.

 

 

 6. @ladykarun

GOSH!!! The president may have attended her music launch, but I am sure UK would have missed the event was someone kind enough to show him the photo of the girl before leaving the statehouse. *Have a keen look on the lips-to-face ratio.* She thinks she has it all in life and downlooks on her peers.

 

5. @LarryMadowo

He is bright, but he would be brighter if he had a face transplant. He is a snob.

 

4. @WillisRaburu

Haaa!!! His childish talk makes it worse! In the inner circles of Kenyan media, he is the most unprofessional journalist that Kenya has ever had.

 

3. @kerrygasheri

Look at that 'wig' and mouth! She is a Twitter whore.

 

2. @eda_atieno

According to close sources, during her appearance on Tujuane, her make-up did cost a whooping Kshs 3,450! A big chunk of this money went missing on her face.
 

 

1. @masaku_

I know you all love this porn addict's jokes on twitter. His face is nothing less of a tractor-run-over warthog.

 

 

LESSON: Humility will make you lovely no matter your looks.


By: @blogpevu on Twitter.

TUNAWACHEKI!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

REVEALED: UNMASKING 'THE CRIMINAL ALAI!'

Robert Alai

He opened his twitter Account on October 13, 2008. He could have opened it as early as 1990s, when he completed his High School studies. It's unfair to him that Twitter Inc was non-existent then. At the beginning of the 21st Century he joined Kenyatta University, for a diploma in ICT, and later joined Kenya School of Monetary Studies to further his little knowledge in ICT. All these were done in 3 years!!! Year 2000, 2001, and 2002. Can you believe it? Wait, he worked as  a System Administrator at some funny company in year 2001! As you may find it difficult to imagine, that is the information that Robert Alai has embedded in his CV. I hope you may now know why he may be jobless at this moment, despite his numerous job applications. Welcome to the world of the only Kenyan who believes 'Noah used a motor boat to escape the flooding.' I don't have an issue with this, his age is a testimony!

Let us analyze the self-proclaimed 'King of Propaganda'

WHERE DOES ALAI SOURCE HIS INCOME? 
Money is what has turned this man into a careless rogue animal! He has various sources of his 'dirty money';
1. Smuggled Smartphones; 
Our sources have confirmed that Alai is a key member of an illegal syndicate whose operations run from Dubai, JKIA to numerous electronic shops around the Nairobi's CBD. Alai has a contact in Dubai, famously known as Sheriff, whose sole role is to organize thefts and transport for Smartphones.
Did you know that around 50 smartphones disappear every month from JKIA warehouses? This is the other source of Alai's phones. To Alai, Sheriff's sources are unreliable as compared to JKIA warehouses. This because Sheriff is an international criminal, and Alai can only get to him through agents.
Does he advertise these phones on his TL? You know better!

2. Propagandist for Hire:
In preparation for the March 4 elections, Alai was on a monthly Payroll for six months by CORD! Payment vouchers from CORD headquarters, indicate that he was receiving Kshs 52,500 from the month of September 2012! What was he being paid for? His tweets before, during and after the elections!
Just the other day, Radio Africa, Kiss TV owners, paid Alai undisclosed amount of money so as to leak information on the sacking of its employees! Why was this done? This was done to prepare the victims psychologically and to avoid possible protests!
Airtel is also believed to have sponsored Alai's famous outburst on Safaricom's working conditions. Interestingly,  Alai had to call for help on Social media, when he was sued for libel! Why did he do this? To eliminate any idea that he was being sponsored by someone! What a brilliant move! Alai is a genius!

3. Loans!
Due to a few 'connections' in the banking industry, loans are easy to get for Alai. Just a minute! He is a defaulter! Information available at Credit Reference Bureau, shows that he has been blacklisted a record nine times!!!

WHERE DOES HE GET ALL 'HIS INFORMATION'?
As you are already aware, he is paid to leak sensitive information as in the case of KISS TV. Secondly, Raila has several intelligence officials, who still leak information to Alai. Thirdly, so much information is left out during presentation of news by Kenyan Media. Alai has access to this information through some journalists that we are going to name in the near future! 

So, next time don't ask what fuels his stinking tweets!

...and you tell me twitter ain't serious? Probably! To some, it is a tool for 'terrorism' and propaganda!

 

TUNAWACHEKI!!! @blogpevu on TWITTER